i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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