I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
