remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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