First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
