It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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