why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
