No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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