Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
