Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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