I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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