grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
