He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
