This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
