; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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