I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize