Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
