In the future we'll all be gay
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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