No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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