You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
