I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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