the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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