she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize