drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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