Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
