Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
