Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
