walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
