Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize