i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
