Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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