we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
