I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
