it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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