Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
