You're completely useless in the revolution.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He felt like a one man threesome
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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