She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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