She said her name was "party"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
