Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I won't apologize to a one balled man
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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