I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
