They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
