i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize