The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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