woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
