I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize