Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize