everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
