Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
