I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
