I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
