So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
