People in love make me want to vomit
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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