Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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