Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
