im drinking this country out of the recession.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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