I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
