My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
