you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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