i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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