i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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